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For the past 5 years, I have been working in a field that I truly loved, on Monday I quit my job, with the intentions of being a stay-at-home (with the expectation that this can change at any time). I have worked my entire life, I started working at home when I needed to do dishes in order to eat ( what was that like 5 years old?) at 11 and a half I started getting paid, as a babysitter. 

I was a terrible babysitter. I really was. But I learned skills with each position, I learned what it meant to be intuitive, and anticipate problems. I learned basic child development. 

Working has always given me a sense of purpose, and confidence I did not have in other areas of my life. I work at a place called Farm Basket, making fried chicken and turkey sandwiches. There I learned I that I hated working at fast food and never wanted to do that if I ever had a choice, there was the chiropractor's office, the library ( really loved that one) a grocery store (just stopped showing up one day, cause the manager was crazy mean) Nanny, office work, RA, EFY counselor, HR dept (really enjoyed that one cause it was so easy for me). Insurance office, another office position, Nanny again, and then again, and again. I worked title loan store ( REALLY hated that one, but meet a wonderful life long friend there). Troubles teens, time two different jobs, then Head Start. So for the last 5 years now it's been Head Start. which big picture is not very long, but I think that it would be very cathartic for me to write some of the things that I learned over the past 5 years. 

 I'll make it a list... The 5 things I learned in the five years I worked at Head Start.

Number one, Small towns are pretty cool. I am from Las Vegas, My graduating class had me at the 50 percentile and I was ranked at number 500 and something. I went to an even bigger college. I grew up thinking that as long as you don't bring attention to yourself then you can just disappear when you want to. But I also grew up never feeling like I belonged anywhere. Then, I moved to Utah and got a job in a place I had only know for as a gas stop on to a bigger place. Nephi, UT, you heard of it? I knew where it was, sort of... all I knew was it was a full-time position and I needed work so yes, I loved Nephi, sure. 

The town had one street, one store, and a whole lot of character, people there had roots and history. Heck, you saw people you knew everywhere. Working in a small town I learned that you had to work to gain people's trust first, you need to join the community before you could help it. I really loved the sense of ownership that the people of that small community had I had never experienced it before it was something that felt really special. I realized that their strength was their relationships with each other, and that is something I carried with me for better or for worst the rest of my career there.

Number two, God is in the details, and so is your paycheck. When you think the big picture like me it's sometimes hard to take a breath and step into a place where you can see the smaller details. Often details for me are either lost to me completely or I find them paralyzing. Something that often has haunted me and is something I can talk about later, if I remember. 

I learned to make systems for myself to manage myself. I learned from my MANY mistakes, I learned that weakness can only be a strength when we admit our folly. I also realized to be really at my job or any other job, I needed to be better and pay more attention. I used technology or whatever I needed to change my brain. 

Number three, this one was probably the hardest lesson. I realized and learned the hard way that I was the same as the people I worked with. Or that most of us are one or two paychecks away from being in the same situations of the people I served. My third year I moved, that changed my income and put added stress that I never could have imagined on me. I  learned we are all in this together no matter our poverty threshold. 

Poverty is a label, and it like all label can either define us or just be one of the many different characteristics that describe a small part of who we are. I would not allow my poverty to define me but it did change me. I was "poor" growing up and had thought that if I worked hard enough or got good enough education I would never end up where I was as a child. I grew up and realized that there are a lot of things that I could not control, and others choices were the pinnacle of that control issue. Control...

Number four, I cannot control what happens, but I can reach out and try to help others up. We all have different understandings and levels of everything. I think that I do believe that deep down inside that person what to be happy, and they want their children to be happy too. I think that is why people do what they do, I also learned about my own limitations. I learned it's okay to not be perfect in other's eyes, that love looks past that, and it fact it grows when we accept each other first. 

Number five, kindness matters. No one is perfect, and we will all make lots of mistakes, but it goes back to what I learned at the first. Small towns take people as they are and they see what they can do to make things a little bit better. I learned I need to look at myself that way, and at others that way too. Life is a journey, a process, and some say a test, but I think it's more like lots of homework. Hard, time-consuming and often neglected. Kindness is what I want in my life. I want to teach it to my children. I want to teach it to myself. Kindness matters.

I have no idea what the future holds for me I have a plan, but I have a feeling that like all good things nothing goes exactly the way I will plan it. I plan on taking the families, children and co-workers I have worked with me where ever that takes me.